Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
