Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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