Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
