You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
