im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
