READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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