hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
