found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
