I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
