hotel room ftw
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
