we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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