That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
