I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize