I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
