only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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