please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
