woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
