matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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