can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
