Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize