well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
