Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry CarcinoCatnip hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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(443): View more from Maryland

Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

In some strange universe, yes

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�

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(719): View more from Colorado

My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.

(1-719): View more from Colorado

Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"

(571): View more from Virginia

why not an indie porn pic then

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(714): View more from California

Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test

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