So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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