Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
