I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
