You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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