You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
