I just pynch a tree in the face
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
