mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
