I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
