yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
