Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize