The maid of honor just puked.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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