bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
