I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
