It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
