And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
