He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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