I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Where is the hickey?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
