Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
