i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
