Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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