I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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