Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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