Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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