Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That's intense
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
