just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
