I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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