with your own penis?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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