Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
