If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
