I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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