I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
