I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
