wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
