Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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