imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
