i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
