It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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