tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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